Saturday, June 27, 2009

Wow...

I hope I don't offend any Transformer fans out there, but I have been amused beyond belief at the near-unanimous and unapologetic panning of the movie by critics. The reviews are so scathing that they're funny. Here are a few favorites that I've read in the past day or so:

"Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" is a flaming pile of poo. It's such a stinking stinkhole of stinkitude...--Utah Daily Herald

"Revenge of the Fallen" is like listening to rocks in a clothes dryer for 2 1/2 hours.--Chicago Tribune

Michael Bay's philosophy goes something like this. "Did you like it when I playfully slugged you in the arm? Then you'll LOVE it when I PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE!"--Eric Snider

If you want to save yourself the ticket price, go into the kitchen, cue up a male choir singing the music of hell, and get a kid to start banging pots and pans together. Then close your eyes and use your imagination.--Roger Ebert

Bigger, louder, more shaky close-ups than the first (can it be possible?), and a 50-minute fight scene? Not my cup of tea. But again, I'm not trying to offend Transformers fans. I'm sure true fans will enjoy the movie regardless. I'm just more amused by the reviews, not having read such hilariously stinging reviews in a long time.

8 comments:

Christine said...

Hahaha, those are hilarious. Have you seen the first movie? It was pretty bad...I only saw it cause Eric wanted to. BTW, he's a "true fan," and hated the first movie...he was like, personally offended by it, haha.

Ashley said...

Haha, yeah I did see the first one. It wasn't THE worst movie ever, but I couldn't stand the loudness. That's funny that even Eric the "true fan" didn't like it. I'm guessing he won't be seeing this one, or will he?

Rachel said...

Oh man, I didn't see the first Transformers, and really had no desire to see this one, but you really cemented my decision to skip it.

The third review (Michael Bay's philosophy goes something like this. "Did you like it when I playfully slugged you in the arm? Then you'll LOVE it when I PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE!"--Eric Snider) is my favorite. Heh.

Ashley said...

That's funny Rachel, for some reason I thought you would like that one too!

Deon said...

The only redeeming value of this movie, from what I can tell (although I haven't nor will I EVER see it), is that it has prompted such a host of hilarious reviews! A person could probably compile the reviews into a little booklet and sell it to those poor people just exiting this horrible wreck of a movie. Thanks for sharing and giving us a good laugh!

Beth said...

"Flaming pile of poo"? Makes me want to run right out and buy a ticket to see this movie!

Kathleen said...

I haven't seen the first one and have zero desire to see the second one, but I LOVE the reviews! They make me laugh each time I read them.

If you are looking for a cute movie to go see, go see "THE PROPOSAL" with Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds. It's SO funny (but also is a little sad, but mainly hilarious). Maybe Grandma Deon would watch your little man so you and Jordan could go see it. What do you think Deon?

Ashley said...

She's great at letting us get out on a date every now and then!